Thursday, November 27, 2014


The war on Islam has reached new depths or heights, depending on viewpoint. On the back of the recent "Go Home" failure of the Home Office the Association of Chief Police Officers has approved and is distributing leaflets in a new campaign to frighten the living daylights out of the poor populace of our capital and anyone in the country or from abroad that visits London. The leaflets look like this:

They are apparently, if you can believe it, being handed out at tube and railway stations in London. Even more unbelievable is they have not got the stamp of a private company but are the work of the Association of Chief Police Officers. Can you belive this?

My first thought was for the unarmed Jean Charles de Menenez who was gunned down mercilessly by Special Branch officers on a London tube station. Nobody has been charged with his murder.

If there was any gunfire or weapons' attack on a station in London that I was on I would be looking for flak-jacketed armed police officers with the latest most-sophisticated government-issue weapons. This is a country where gun-law has never been a major problem. The leaflet is nonsense. It is akin to the "walls have ears" and the "enemy within" mentality of the Second World War, both about threats that did not exist. The only terror threat on British soil today is likely to come from our own security services. This is the world we live in.

That is not to say an event which nobody could predict will not happen. Such scaremongering on the back of the announcement of more funding for the secret services is what worries me more than anything. It's like saying make sure you know what to do in the event of an earthquake, drone attack or tornado.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Her first naked outdoor photo-shoot - and it was cold and wet

Good models do not come cheap. You have to work fast with the camera but then you have to get beguiling images too. Chicks new to modelling work out a bit cheaper but then you have to spend more time posing them. Today's model, to begin with, was particularly shy.

She told me it was her first outdoor photo-shoot in the raw. "That's all right, Chick. Don't worry, you'll be fine." It was cold and wet which didn't help. "And don't think I'm doing any full frontals." She really was a novice. "All right, come out from behind those ferns or the session will be over before we start." Remember I was paying for this. "What's more I'll be using my fans" she said.
Agreeing to a rear view to begin with she timidly emerged. To break the ice I asked her her name. She had a bit of a speech impediment and I didn't quite catch it but I think she said "Helen" or something like that. Anyway, that's what I called her all through the session. "Don't be shy, Helen, you have striking good looks, and the shoot will go fine."
"You think so?"

Those fans of hers were something to behold. But she was all crunched up and I think the cold was getting to her. "Now, my dear, would you mind stretching out that lovely long neck of yours." Tentatively she straightened out her neck and stopped waving her fans about. I thought it was an improvement.
But the coyness, unless it was an act, gave her all the appearance of a novice. "All right Helen, now can we have a shot from the other side? Thanks. Think of the cinema stars." That always gets a new model if you ask me. They all have this ambition of being Hollywood actresses.

Turning round she complained of the cold. It was cold. But she wasn't the one who had to keep the camera steady. "We can take a break in a minute," I said, "just straighten up a shade and give me a smile. There's a girl."

Smiling seemed to be beyond Helen, but I guess she was trying, and most beginners are not particularly blessed with an over-abundant supply of patience.  However Helen, for someone so lean, long-necked and long-legged had an over-abundant supply of curves.

"Hold that pose for a minute, Helen, please." She was getting there. We knocked off for a break. I changed my camera card, while Helen popped something into her mouth. I hoped she wasn't on drugs. When I got back you won't believe what she was doing. Only manicuring her toe-nails.
"All right, Helen, since you've taken the trouble, let's get a shot of you kicking out your lovely long legs like in the Can-Can." "Wait a minute," she said, "my nails are not dry yet." These models don't care that it's costing you all the time they're pampering themselves. In fairness though she was starting to look more like a professional.
When she did eventually kick out a leg for me it gave the appearance of a young Nazi stormtrooper, but I didn't say anything. Getting the best out of a model is demanding work. "Can we try a few close-ups now Helen please. I'm looking for facial expression as well as poise.
It was her idea to use a cane to go with her top-hat. I thought it worked quite well. And she was no longer looking the gawky teenager I first encountered. "Great, Helen, great. Let's do another intimate shot."
Almost instinctively she gave me this classic pose. I suddenly realised the session was going well. "Super, chick, super." She had some rare talent for seductive posing, just opening her fans slightly for a glimpse of what was to come. "Any chance of doing something more flamboyant with those fans you brought with you, Helen?"
She gave me a look well beyond her years. Getting her fans out she presented the camera with an exotic, almost erotic, display of wonderful modelling talent. "Oh, yes, Helen, more of that please."
Although she had said at the beginning of the shoot there would be no full-frontal photos she did at least give me this. I was drooling.

"Absolutely gorgeous, Helen, absolutely gorgeous. Now can you just turn your head slightly to the left." Photographers are always looking for that prize-winning shot that brings home the dosh. "Sorry, John, your time's up." I looked at my watch. She was right. Just as things were starting to hot up. Life's like that. She turned around. "Just one more please" I begged.

"Sorry, John, I have another shoot this afternoon. And this one's not so exposed as this Garden of Eden as you called it to tempt me out into this freezing wasteland." I pleaded. "Wait, Helen, wait." She threw both her fans right up above her head totally exposing herself. "Helen, wait please."

"Sorry, John." I started getting my wallet out but before I could stop her she was on her way. "Helen," I shouted at the top of my voice. She looked back and called out: "It's not Helen, it's Heron, you twonk!" Perhaps this was not her first naked outdoor shoot, I thought.